A Dude Who Loves Fat Chicks

A Dude Who Loves Fat Chicks

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Tuesday, April 21, 2015

Moving past the tragic ending....

About a month ago I found out someone who I thought was my friend, had lied to me about something very big. We were dating last summer online and I had made plans to move out to CA meet her and start a family with her. She adopted a 1 month old baby and had called me toa sk if I still wanted to pursue a future together. I said yes after thinking about it. I wanted children with her. I knew she had been married and she had told me she was divorced. She had lied to me about being divorced. I had made decisions based on her answer to me at that time and I decided to move out then before the winter of 2014. A very close person to me passed away as I was moving out here to newark ca. I was not able to attend the funeral. For that I've not gotten closure. I've lost a few other family and friends and my friends have lost family as well since my time out here. I have not been able to find closure, however I was moving forward until recently when I found out about the lie. I found out about it from an unlikely source and I wasn't even looking for that kind of thing. It came out in a conversation and a few hours later it hit me. I sat up in bed full of anger, rage and most of all, heart break. All of the emotions hit me hard and despite knowing this I went to work that day. I dont know how I was able to work.. but I did. I don't understand how someone with a life history of hers could ever do that to someone else. I put my faith and trust in this person and she completely manipulated and used me for her own personal gain. I am in shock and disbelief still. I had wanted to talk her and she didn't want to meet because it was "to serious for just friends" she replied in a text. I tried calling her. She didn't want to talk. She didn't give me much of a choice except through texting, which is probably the worst forum of communication for this sort of thing. In my anger and rage at this point I couldnt hold back the truth that I knew and I was an asshole  and jerk to her. I accused her of far fetched things. I wasn't thinking about what I was saying because emotion had grabbed me. I didn't know what was real and what wasn't. I didn't know right from wrong at this point. I tried backing out.. but something about her tone and responses egged me on. She called me all sorts of names throughout the fight, stalker, obsessive, asshole, jerk. At the end she admitted she did not tell me because it was convenient to her and that it was no ones business including my own. It was my business. She abruptly said being human is one thing, being an asshole is another. implying that I wasn't even a human to her nor worthy of her presence. I felt like she had just ripped my soul in pieces. How could someone say such things when we both shared intimate things with each-other. I never knew she could back-stab me in such a horrible way and worse.. feel nothing about it. I forgave her in my heart a few days later and sent a video message to her explaining why even though i didn't need to. It was more for me really. I doubt she ever saw it. I took it down a few days after. She hates me and wasted no time in removing me from her life. I moved 3000 miles to be with her and she knew that. She never trusted me I realize now. I feel used and abused and broken. Now I'm alone out here trying to get my career going. This place is a great place, but the pain can be too much sometimes. I try to avoid things that remind me of her but its next to impossible. I never asked for this. I never wanted things to end this way if they were going to.

Wednesday, May 14, 2014

Two more bbw art pieces

Will update some more when I get the chance life has been busy. Sadie summers and Butterscotch .

Thursday, February 6, 2014

Annnd im back.

Well in short , The lady I had found was not lets say, ready for me. I don't think she ever be ready to be honest. But thats not why I'm back. I am back because I've found new purpose for this blog. As a result of this I will now continue on to my latest find. Whitney Way Thore.

Shes 29,  and is on the path to show others what size acceptance is about. She has a site called No Body Shame Campaign. http://nobodyshamecampaign.com/No_Body_Shame_Campaign.html 
Shes a radio producer for 107.5 KZL in Greensboro, Nc. She regularly posts videos of herself dancing. I find this to be utterly amazing and highly enjoyable. Shes got a great body, great attitude and CONFIDENCE. Thats what caught my eye and whats more important is her message. Women should not be ashamed of their bodies no matter what size! I admit to having a huge crush on her and would love to dance with her! You've caught my eye Whitney! :) keep up the fine work!

Friday, October 4, 2013

Found a Woman...

So I realized and have come to the conclusion that I have found my umbro girl at last. Things have been interesting these past weeks actually. It has taken me a better part of a year to realize who she was and how I truly felt. I had walked away from my feelings once before but this second time I decided to risk it all. So far it has paid off. I sent her a package the other day with some things. I love her. She doesn't know it yet but I plan on getting that ring in the future...
I wont be posting much in this blog about women anymore. Anything said in the past is now voided save for the praises and celebration of the buxom ladies. I love this woman now and I just want her.
Adieu readers..

Sketch drawing of the lady :)

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